Jedidiah Hamilton smiles and holds up a coloring sheet reading, 'Wash Your Hands' as Edison Elementary aims to help children continue learning during school closures as concerns over coronavirus rise Monday afternoon in Centralia.
There are small moments in parenthood that make a big impression on us. For me, one of the big ones was the first time I took our oldest daughter in for immunizations, by myself, holding this tiny pink bundle in my arms, knowing there were going to be shots. I’m not sure how many. It could have only been two but it felt like a million to me.
The kindly nurse, sensing my nervousness smiled and said “she’s looking at you for how to react to this. If you are calm. She will be calm.” So, despite the fact that I felt queasy and tearful inside, I put on my best smile and cooed at her. It was over quickly and while she did give a little wail, it seemed awfully short lived. “Good job, mama,” the nurse beamed at me, as if I had been the one to endure the needles and not my offspring.
It is a moment in time that has followed me throughout parenthood. Many times, that nurse’s words come back to me and I am reminded that in times of chaos, I am my kids’ compass, pointing them in the direction of their own reaction. I was again reminded of this as the world news of COVID-19 came to our back door.
The kids have come home with more questions than I have answers for. “Will we get sick?” “Will I still get to go to this or that?” “Will we have to stay home a long time?” “Will I still get to have my birthday party?” While I try to soften the world for my kids, I believe in telling them the truth. Promising them everything will absolutely be OK seems like a lie. It leaves me in a world of “maybes” and “we’ll try our bests” — a place where I, and I’d guess a lot of people, feel incredibly uncomfortable.
But I have decided to heed those words from that wise nurse all those years ago. I am reminding myself that in this storm, I am my kids’ lighthouse, reminding them that even though they can’t see the way, there still is one. I am choosing to tell my kids this isolation is a journey, a new adventure. I remarked to one of my kids the other day that they are living through a time that will probably be written about in history books, one they will someday tell their kids about. It is an opportunity to slow down, to try some new things, to have some experiences and to come out the other side wiser and stronger individuals.
This is not to minimize the experience of any other parent walking this journey with their kids right now. I know many people in Lewis County face real life hardships beyond having their darling blessings home for at least six weeks. Many face joblessness, financial and family strain. Some had already been facing these challenges and now stand at the edge of a very frightening future.
What I also know is that Lewis County has a beautiful way of pulling together in hard times. During the 2007 flooding when neighbors lost everything overnight, we did not say “I’m taking care of my family, they can take care of theirs.” We showed up with our shovels and our food and our hugs and we helped. I had neighbors in Centralia that, while the flood waters were still rising, were saying “how can we get out to Boistfort? They need help.”
While we may have to be physically distanced from each other, there are still ways we can stay in contact and help each other. Simple steps like checking in with an elderly friend by phone, making a to-go order with your favorite small restaurant or contributing to the local charities that will likely be feeling the strain of the extra need soon.
For anyone worried their kids might not learn during this time away from physical school, guess what? They already are. Right now. They’re learning from the way we react to this crisis. They’re learning from how we talk, how we act and react and how we view our role in what is to come. There are opportunities to show our kids that in these uncertain times, we can stay calm, we can take care of ourselves and we can be part of a community grows stronger through adversity.
I am reminded of one of my favorite songs from “Into the Woods” (a show I am truly hoping we will all still be able to see at Centralia College this spring) “Careful the things you say. Children will listen. Careful the things you do. Children will see. And learn. Children may not obey. But children will listen. Children will look to you. For which way to turn.”
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Carrina Stanton is a regular contributor to The Chronicle.
