Ernest “Ernie” Valdez was a keeper of memories. If you ask his son, Jeremy, he’ll tell you his dad kept every karate belt, hockey puck and Father’s Day present, plus every letter he wrote his father from boot camp.
Jeremy recalls Christmases where Valdez would host everyone in his Vader home — dozens of stockings would hang for extended family members, and the house took weeks to decorate.
“He brought people together in a way that doesn’t happen a lot these days,” Jeremy said. “He was my biggest supporter.”
Valdez — a Christian, a jokester, a seasoning enthusiast, a father, a grandfather, an Air Force veteran and so much more — died May 6 after a fight with COVID-19. The 64-year-old is one of 61 Lewis County residents taken by the pandemic.
Mary Syverson, Valdez’ partner of 15 years, says that after a brush with death, Valdez truly valued life. Many years ago, after a heart attack and a quadruple bypass, Valdez “died on the table.”
He spoke of seeing the light and moving toward his parents, who ultimately told him he needed to stay on earth.
After that, his favorite song became Tim McGraw’s “Live Like You Were Dying.” And just like the famous country song, Syverson said Valdez “spoke sweeter” and spent more time with family.
On a recent Sunday, sitting at her kitchen table, Syverson remembered seeing Valdez — who she called “Boog” from the animated film “Open Season” — for the first time. He visited her work in Parkland to cash a check and offer a smart-aleck comment. Syverson flipped him off, and he turned around to say, “I like you.”
Syverson still laughs at the unconventional meeting. Soon after, the couple moved in together. Adventures with Valdez meant going to the grocery store and ending up at the beach.
And Valdez was the type of partner who would gladly oblige when Syverson foolishly wore heels to the Puyallup Fair and needed a foot rub before walking any further.
“He treated me better than any man I’d ever had in my life. He treated me like a lady,” she said. “He told me I was beautiful even if I wasn’t. He just made me feel special.”
If you ask the couple’s friend Nancy Oliver, Valdez was “ornery, but in a funny way.”
“He liked to give crap to people. That’s how you know he liked you,” she said.
Christine McKay, a barista at Lethal Groundz Coffee Co. on Kresky Avenue, knew Valdez as one of her favorite regulars. After serving him and Syverson — and their German shepherd, Xena — for years, she described the couple as “extended family.” After work, she would chat with them in the parking lot, eventually getting hooked on Valdez’ homemade seasoning rub, which she still sells at the espresso stand.
“They’re just the most kind-hearted people, and genuine. I’ve never met more genuinely nice people than both of them,” McKay said this week. “You could be having a rotten day and he’d show up and just smile. His smile was just intoxicating … you had to come out of your bad mood and smile, and he’d tell you a great joke.”
Anita Keeney, of Little Crane Cafe, who is helping fundraise after Valdez’ death, described him as a goofball who gave great hugs. She recalled him lending a hand in community volunteer efforts, like when the cafe partnered with the Vader Lions Club to make donation baskets.
“It was amazing. He was taking charge and organizing,” she said. “He’s going to be very, very, very missed … He’s part of our family.”
Valdez leaves behind Syverson as well as children Krista Bartlow and Jeremy Valdez, stepchildren Robert and James Syverson, and eight grandchildren: Kielye, Evangaline, Joshua, Logan, Lillian, Ryan, Mary and Jordan.
An Outbreak in Vader
Since Lewis County began reporting COVID-19 cases by ZIP code, instances of the illness have been documented in Vader, which has a population of about 900. Since early March of this year, cases were increasing slowly, with only one or two cases added each week. But things changed mid-April, when cases jumped from 44 to 54 in a single week.
It was a Saturday when Syverson began feeling sick at Little Crane Cafe, her workplace and the town’s only restaurant. She left early that day, and called it quits a few hours into the workday on Sunday as well, after serving Valdez and other family members.
“My body hurt so much. I’d never felt that kind of pain before, really,” Syverson recalled.
On Monday, Valdez came down with the bug too. They chalked it up to the flu, opting to not get tested for COVID-19.
“I didn’t want to say ‘COVID,’” Syverson said. “I said ‘I think we have the flu. We just have the flu.’”
Oliver and Syverson spoke about the beginning of the pandemic, when stigma swirled around the virus. In community Facebook pages, Oliver said people talked about COVID-19 patients “like lepers.”
Come Wednesday, Syverson and Valdez went to the hospital, where they tested positive for COVID-19 and were treated for dehydration. After being discharged, the couple began to hear of more cases in Vader. Employees at Little Crane Cafe were sick, as were some neighbors, Syverson said.
According to Oliver, it felt like COVID had stayed away from Vader until the outbreak.
Although the trip to Providence Centralia Hospital left the duo feeling better, their symptoms soon worsened. And when Valdez’ oxygen levels suddenly dropped, Syverson called an ambulance. Valdez was later put on a ventilator and transported to Olympia for treatment.
A sick and confused Syverson was able to talk to Valdez one final time before he was heavily sedated.
“All I could do was cry and pray for him and cry and pray for him,” she said.
At home, Syverson began writing Valdez a letter, detailing the next adventure they would take: the couple would drive south, past Oregon’s Three Sisters, to a lake so reflective that boats appear to float among clouds and trout are said to be massive.
She hoped reading the letter to Valdez — over the phone with the help of a nurse — in his medically-induced coma would bring him into recovery. But a reported “COVID slam” at the hospital, Syverson recalled, prevented her from doing so.
After 18 days, with Valdez’ condition deteriorating and few medical options left, his family was faced with a decision.
“Mary and her family are having to make a very heart-breaking decision today,” Keeney wrote on the Little Crane Cafe’s Facebook page. “Ernie’s prognosis is not good, and my heart is breaking for her. Mary and Ernie’s love is endless, you can see it in their faces when they are together. Please pray for strength during this time.”
Valdez died peacefully, under sedation, after the ventilator was removed, Syverson said.
Hospital staff allowed family members to say goodbye in person, and Syverson got the chance to read Valdez her letter.
“I just read everything to him and got to see him through the glass,” she said. “His breathing was rapid, and once I started, I know he heard me, because things slowed down.”
A GoFundMe has been set up for Valdez’ long-time partner can be found online here: https://tinyurl.com/mjsjayd8.
