As we enjoy the last few days of summer, with a forecast of mild-mannered smiling sunshine and a gentle mix of gray clouds and blue skies, I’d like to invite you to join me for a relaxing few days heading into the autumnal equinox on Tuesday.
And by relaxing, I mean competitive. In the most laid-back way possible.
I propose a Great Weekend Challenge with ideas on ways to get the most out of your downtime by doing a few little things that mean a lot.
And so, here are a bunch of ideas that I hope to put into practice this weekend. I’ve attached a completely arbitrary point value to each one. Feel free to tally your points (or not). The point is not the points — the point is to enjoy life by doing a few things worth doing, and nothing else.
With that said, if you want to send me your point total, I might just print a few of the winners in a future column.
Here we go. Make the most of your weekend by doing one or more of the following:
Start a book — 1 point.
Finish a book — 20 points.
Take a walk outside — 5 points.
Call a friend — 20 points. (If it feels a little bit awkward or embarrassing to break the silence and reach out for no particular reason, you’re probably doing it right. The forces of isolation and loneliness are strong these days. It takes wisdom, courage and maybe a little shamelessness to break out of them. If you’re still feeling sheepish to call, you can blame me and say that Mittge guy said you had to do it. Or more seriously, just say, “I was thinking of you and wanted to catch up.” That’ll work just fine. Trust me.)
Text a friend to say hello and ask what they’re up to this weekend — 1 point for each friend. Set a specific date to get together with them in person — 5 points. If you mention this column, give yourself an extra 7.5 points.
Write and mail a card or letter. (It has to actually end up in a mailbox for this to count) — 10 points each.
Visit a neighbor, friend or relative — 25 points each.
Sit down for at least 15 minutes near a window next to a loved one, a pet or a potted plant, with all electronic devices turned off and all phones/tablets in another room — 5 points.
Pray — 10 points.
Pray for someone you love — 15 points.
Pray for our leaders, including our county commissioners, Legislature, Gov. Bob Ferguson, Congress and President Donald Trump — 20 points.
Pray for your enemies and for those who persecute you — 30 points.
Write down five things that went well last week, one thing that could’ve gone better and something you learned from the experience, and three things you’d like to do next week — 5 points.
Visit one of our local parks, such as Lewis and Clark State Park, the Seminary Hill Natural Area, Skate Creek Park in Packwood, Rainbow Falls State Park, or one of our many other special and wild places. Look intently at one of the plants there, really studying it for at least five minutes — 15 points.
Dedicate either Saturday or Sunday as a sabbath day of rest — 15 points.
Attend church — 25 points (50 points if it’s your first time in over a year.)
Sing a song — 5 points.
Sing a song with someone else — 10 points.
Find a vine maple leaf that’s turning red or a bigleaf maple leaf that’s turning orange and yellow. Hold it in your hand. Study the lines and wrinkles, the texture and colors. Reflect on the coming of autumn and the changing of the seasons — 5 points per leaf.
Find an evergreen bough that is still gloriously vibrant and reflect on our blessings of living in the Evergreen State — 5 points.
Make yourself a little to-do list and give yourself 1 point for everything you check off of it. (Pro tip: give yourself some easy ones and check those off really quickly. Feels good, doesn’t it?)
Find a local fruiting tree and harvest some bounty — 1 point for each apple, pear or plum, 5 points for each peach or kiwi fruit (Michael Dolan and his merry band of kiwi farmers at Burnt Ridge Nursery could run the table on this one) and 1,000 points for each banana, mango or papaya (must be harvested in Lewis or south Thurston County to earn points. Good luck with that.)
Email your second-favorite columnist (Julie McDonald is everyone’s favorite, obviously) with your point total — 2.5 points.
Forget the contest and count your blessings instead — 0 points, but you win anyway!
Dad Joke of the Week
My coworker J. and I came up with this one yesterday.
Q: “Do you want the good news or bad news?”
If they answer “the good news” you say, “The good news is that there is no bad news.”
And if they respond, “the bad news,” you reply, “The bad news is that there is no good news.”
Voila. This is a perfectly balanced joke that folds itself up into nothing after being told, neatly disappearing into a puff of mild humor and perhaps a chuckle as it shows itself the door.
I told this joke to my 15-year-old son this morning and he gave it a rave, albeit sleepy 6 a.m. review: “An emotional roller coaster with a surprise ending that no one saw coming.”
I’d say that’s worth a point, maybe even two.
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Brian Mittge is a community enthusiast who has written for The Chronicle since 2000 as a reporter, editor and columnist. He can be reached at brianmittge@hotmail.com.
