Richard Stride: How to handle those unwanted holiday gifts without being rude and unkind

Posted 1/17/25

It’s 2025? Wow! How did that sneak up on us?

We have made it through the holidays. Maybe you have even returned those gifts or quietly put them up for sale on eBay. It’s not because …

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Richard Stride: How to handle those unwanted holiday gifts without being rude and unkind

Posted

It’s 2025? Wow! How did that sneak up on us?

We have made it through the holidays. Maybe you have even returned those gifts or quietly put them up for sale on eBay. It’s not because we didn’t appreciate the gifts, or at least kind of appreciate it, but once again Aunt Jean proved to you that she doesn’t know you or your likes and dislikes.

Because she doesn’t know you, or even how old you are, she once again has given you a gift that she picked up during last year’s after-holiday clearance at Walmart.

Sound familiar?

That’s because we all have those well-meaning individual types in our families.

Comedian Jim Gaffigan in one of his televised specials makes some funny insightful comments about receiving gifts. In his dialogue, he makes the observation that sometimes you receive a gift that’s not even close. The gift giver states, “you can always return it if you don’t like it.”

Gaffigan responds with, “Naw, I’ll just throw it out. Don’t give me a gift and an errand. It’s like saying, ‘hey, while you’re returning that shirt, do you mind picking up my drycleaning?”

If you haven’t seen this Gaffigan special, it’s worth watching for sure. But Mr. Gaffigan’s dialogue, as humorous as it is, is not reality.

So, I asked artificial intelligence: What should we do with gifts we receive that we really don’t like? Google AI said, “If you receive a gift you don’t like, you can either gracefully accept it, expressing appreciation for the thought behind it, and then donate it to charity, re-gift it to someone else who might enjoy it, or try to return it if possible. Depending on the situation and your relationship with the giver, always prioritize being polite and not making the gift-giver feel bad … If you feel comfortable, you can gently mention to the giver that the gift isn’t quite your style and perhaps give them a few ideas for future gifts.”



Not bad, AI. Not bad at all.

In fact, if you’re a regular reader of my columns, you’ll notice I try to help, entertain and cajole us to be better. Nothing wrong with improving yourself, wouldn’t you agree? Why not sit down with those well-meaning relatives and just ask them about their lives? Believe me, the once or twice a year that you see them is not the totality of who they are.

We should always strive to be polite to others and especially our family members. We should seek to uplift one another, not degrade or humiliate our fellow human beings. I mean, what’s the problem with treating each other with dignity and respect?

When I hear of others making fun of another person online or bullying their peers online, I think to myself, “What happened to civility?” I looked for a good definition of civility. Here’s what I found from the University of San Diego: “Civility, which comes to us from the Latin word for citizen, includes not only the notions of courtesy and politeness, but also such matters as social relationships and proper conduct in human relationships. For some, civility is the essential glue that holds society together, and it involves such important issues as friendship, altruism, responsibility, dignity and justice.”

Now that’s good advice. Practice civility. The outcome will amaze you.

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Richard Stride is the current CEO of Cascade Community Healthcare.