What if “Anchorman” was written by William Shakespeare?
That’s the question posed by the newest production of Little Theatre on the Bay in North Bend, where the world premiere of “William Shakespeare’s Anchorman: Herald of Athens” opens May 24.
The show touts itself as “the greatest (and only) Shakespearean parody of Anchorman in the universe.”
It roughly follows the plot of the 2004 comedy film, set in the 1970s, that starred Will Ferrell as TV news anchor Ron Burgundy coming to terms with his new female co-anchor.
In this retelling, Ron Burgundy is a herald, sharing the news in ancient Greece. (How are they broadcasting the news in 800 B.C.? Don’t overthink it.) Rather than the birth of a panda at the San Diego Zoo, the biggest news story of the year for these characters is the wait for the Kraken to devour Andromeda.
The most quotable lines from the film are all in the parody play, albeit in Elizabethan language. Weatherman Brick Tamland invites Lady Veronica Corningstone to a “breeches bacchanal.” A tragedy leaves Ron Burgundy (played by actor Taylor Marchant with a spot-on impersonation and glorious mustache) in a “marble sarcophagus of emotion.”
When Ron meets Veronica, he pines:
“But soft, dear heart, disturbst thee I wouldst fain
within this sea of souls where I do find thee.
I ne’er do this, yet now I must profane,
Thou hast an utterly breathtaking heinie.”
The play was written by local director John Beane, whose previous productions include 2022′s “Lebowski, Prince of Ninepins,” a (you guessed it) Shakespearean parody of “The Big Lebowski.”
Beane, a life-long actor and director with a background performing Shakespeare, created his first modern Shakespearean riff with a satire of “Pulp Fiction,” performed in 2018 at Beane’s Coos Bay business, So It Goes Coffeehouse.
Beane’s shows have garnered a “cult-like following,” said Aymee Pedder, president of Little Theatre on the Bay, who also stars in “Anchorman.” They’ve help attract younger audiences to the theater, and, she said, they fit right in with the “quirky” spirit of the rural community.
Beane and his wife moved to the area 10 years ago. In 2015, they opened So It Goes after noticing Coos Bay lacked what Beane called “an old school, used books, really bad poetry readings, punk rock music and late nights” kind of coffeeshop that served as a “generator of ideas and creative energy.”
The coffeeshop was where Beane first streamed a live reading of “Anchorman” the film during the pandemic. That reading eventually became the inspiration for “Herald of Athens.”
It turns out many of Gen X’s favorite cult films work well when translated into Shakespearean verse. Beane’s also written “Clerks of Venice,” a yet-to-be staged take on the movie “Clerks” that he hopes to perform at the coffeehouse.
“These are great, iconic, dialogue-driven movies, but they’re so poppy and peppery, that’s the thing that makes it really work,” Beane said.
Little Theatre on the Bay
“Anchorman: Herald of Athens” will be performed in the newly restored Liberty Theatre, which celebrates its 100th anniversary this year. The theater opened in 1924 as a movie house, but since 1959, it’s been the home of the Little Theatre on the Bay.
The company says its the second oldest continuously operating community theater in Oregon (right behind Very Little Theatre in Eugene). It was founded in 1948 and initially staged performances at the International Order of Odd Fellows building in Coos Bay.
“Back in the 1940s, … they had to create their own entertainment,” Pedder said. “You really did live, work and play in the same place. Travel wasn’t what it is today, so people created art and entertainment in their own homes, where they lived and worked.”
After the Liberty movie theater closed in 1953, the thespians moved in, built a stage and eventually purchased in the building.
In 2015, the Little Theatre on the Bay began a years-long restoration and renovation of the building. The process began with an exterior facelift, repairing the stucco and adding vibrant red and blue accents to the theater’s Moorish revival architecture. Then the nonprofit recreated the exterior neon sign from the 1930s and reinstalled two cooper domes on the roof, which had been removed in 1974.
The renovations included new seats, an accessible restroom, a lobby remodel, installation of LED lighting, and a hearing loop sound system that provides clear audio transmitted directly to hearing aids worn by audience members.
The final, eighth phase of the $3.5 million renovation and expansion is expected to wrap up this summer. It will include the opening of a 3,600-square-foot addition to be used for rehearsals, smaller shows and summer camps. The entire project was funded by local donations and grants.
Today, the theater is once again an anchor for downtown North Bend, and it’s a hub of creativity for the volunteers who run Little Theatre on the Bay.
“Doing costuming, or painting sets, or designing lights, it’s all about creativity, and people need that in their lives,” said Jeanne Woods, vice president of Little Theatre on the Bay. “We bring people in from all walks of life because of that.”
The restoration effort was honored earlier this year with an Oregon Heritage Excellence Award presented by the State Historic Preservation Office.
“Healthy communities have vibrant and thriving artistic components,” Pedder said. “It’s important to have a place to feel, to express, to incite conversation. I think it helps create leaders in our young people, and it gives people a reason to put down roots and want to stay when there are activities to participate in.”
IF YOU GO: Performances of “William Shakespeare’s Anchorman: Herald of Athens” are at 7 p.m. Thursdays through Saturdays, May 24 through June 8, at the Liberty Theatre, 2100 Sherman Ave. in North Bend. Tickets are $24 and available at https://thelibertytheatre.org/.
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