This Labor Day, all’s for the best in this best of all possible countries.
Ten million American citizens lost their health care since Donald Trump regained office, among them 2.5 million children. More cuts are coming next month. Medicaid cuts kick in January 2027. Maybe you or someone you know is affected.
But it’s okay! President Trump has promised that a new health care plan is coming any day now. Meanwhile, he is building a gold-leaf-covered ballroom to entertain his wealthy donors. So far, only $360 million of our tax dollars have been spent to make the magic happen.
Ground beef costs over $7/pound now; coffee, $10/pound. Groceries now run more than 4% higher than when Trump took office. Rent and mortgage costs run U.S. families $695 more since 2024. Some Americans are choosing between paying rent and groceries.
Never fear! The president pocketed $2.2 billion in profits during the first year and a half of his second term, including $1.4 billion that he made from the cryptocurrency business he uses the White House to promote. And Ivanka and Jared are getting a private island in the Mediterranean. Maybe you can visit!
Lettuce, jalapenos, blueberries, bacon . . . with 162 food products recalled this year, grocery shopping has risen to a level of excitement reminiscent of the Hunger Games. DOGE cutting 20% of the FDA’s inspection staff might not have been the best idea…
But it’s fine! Trump’s importing cheap Argentinian beef that China rejected because of chemical contamination. Well, maybe if you’re a farmer, it’s not so fine.
But enjoy that barbeque! (Just keep that epi-pen handy. Wait, you can’t afford one? Sorry.)
The servicemen aboard the U.S.S. Lincoln got to eat mystery meat and had to navigate floating turds when their latrines overflowed, all because Iran bombed allies’ bases that we needed for resupply in a war no one asked for.
No worries! Trump is planning a giant triumphal arch to memorialize himself. As he himself said, “Nobody will do it once I’m gone.” The giant arch will block visitors’ views of veterans’ graves in Arlington Cemetery. Gas cost more this Labor Day weekend than at any time in U.S. history. Maybe you didn’t take that family road trip.
Quit focusing on the negative! Trump has renamed Lake Ontario and the Gulf of Mexico to make sure maps say America, America, America everywhere. Over 600,000 Americans have no home. 40% can’t come up with $400 in an emergency. The number one cause of bankruptcy is medical debt. Minimum wage hasn’t risen in over 15 years, although the cost of living has skyrocketed. The U.S is the only industrialized nation whose life expectancy is dropping.
But cheer up! The Trump 250 $1 commemorative coin is available for you to buy from the U.S. Mint at the low, low price of $61 for a roll of 25! True, it’s made of nickel, zinc, magnesium, and copper – no gold – but it features his gold-colored face for you to venerate.
Are we great again yet?
Susanne Weil
Onalaska
