Kris McGovern discovered the recipe for Monster Blood Punch in one of his "Goosebumps" books.
Beth Corder removes a tray of "Redneck Turtle Burgers" from the oven at her Onalaska home. She began making her tasty but terrifying food for Halloween more than a decade ago, and her children continue to love her creations.
Nine-year-old Kris McGovern eats a "Redneck Turtle Burger," which he will wash down with green "Monster Blood Punch."
Redneck Turtle Burgers, as prepared by Beth Corder of Onalaska, are made from ground beef, bacon and hot dogs. Actual turtles are not in the ingredients list.
Kitty Littler Cake and Monster Blood Punch, as prepared by Beth Corder of Onalaska.
Kris McGovern, 9, eats a "Redneck Turtle Burger," one of his mother's many delicious but gross-looking recipes. “The Redneck Turtle Burgers has this meat, it’s hamburger, with bacon on it and hot dogs for legs and tail and its head. It’s real good,” said Kristopher, who will be in the fourth grade.
When Beth Corder of Onalaska makes Kitty Litter Cake and Redneck Turtle Burgers, she knows her family will love both the appearance and the surprisingly delicious taste of these deliberately gross-looking treats.
Corder first made gross food for a special occasion — Halloween. But the children enjoyed it so much, gross food grew into a by-request menu item at the Corder-Reitz family table.
“It was for a Halloween party the kids were having 10 or 15 years ago,” Corder said. “They liked it so much, it just continued.”
At that time Corder had her two oldest children, Tyrell, now 21, and Tia, now 19. Years passed and Shayna, 11 and Kristopher, 9, joined the family.
Kristopher is now the one who loves to keep the family tradition of preparing meals of gross food alive.
“My youngest son is a fun little boy,” Corder said with a laugh. “He will also eat non-gross food. That kid will eat anything.”
On the small farm where Corder and husband Andrew Reitz have a garden and raise rabbits, chickens, cows, horses and pigs, not a single turtle to make the Redneck Turtle Burger, can be found. Luckily, the recipe does not call for real turtles.
“The Redneck Turtle Burgers has this meat, it’s hamburger, with bacon on it and hot dogs for legs and tail and its head. It’s real good,” Kristopher, who will be in the fourth grade, said.
When not eating gross food, Kristopher likes to show his horse at gaming events and ride in parades.
Kristopher also knows how to make Kitty Litter Cake, which is his favorite recipe.
“It’s this cake with crumbled cookies on two cakes. And it has Tootsie rolls that make it look like the droppings. And the Tootsie rolls are all melted and it’s real good,” he said. “I feel like a pig when I eat it. I like the way it looks and tastes.”
Gross Food Meal Recipes
Frog’s Eye Salad: 1 large can of fruit cocktail, drained, mixed with ½ cooked rice mixed with Cool Whip.
Ants on a Log: Cut celery stalks into 2 or 3 inch lengths, spread with peanut butter, and place raisins on top of the peanut butter.
Monster Blood Punch: 1 package lime jello, 2 cups apple juice, green food coloring. Make jello according to package directions, when set mash up with a fork. Mix jello and juice and food coloring together.
Redneck Turtle Burgers: Handmade ground beef patties, topped with sharp cheddar cheese, wrapped in a bacon weave. Add hot dogs as the heads, legs with slits for toes and tail. Place on an oven rack, covered loosely with foil and baked for 20-30 minutes at 400 degrees.
Kitty Litter Cake
Directions
Prepare cake mixes and bake according to package directions (any size pan).
Prepare pudding according to package directions and chill until ready to assemble.
Crumble sandwich cookies in small batches in a food processor, scraping often. Set aside all but 1/4 cup. To the 1/4 cup add a few drops of green food coloring and mix.
When cakes are cooled to room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl. Toss with 1/2 of the remaining cookie crumbs, and the chilled pudding. You probably won't need all of the pudding; you want the cake to be just moist, not soggy.
Line kitty litter box with the kitty litter liner. Put cake mixture into box.
Put half of the unwrapped Tootsie rolls in a microwave safe dish and heat until softened. Shape the ends so that they are no longer blunt, and curve the Tootsie rolls slightly. Bury Tootsie rolls randomly in the cake and sprinkle with half of the remaining cookie crumbs. Sprinkle a small amount of the green colored cookie crumbs lightly over the top.
Heat 3 or 4 of the Tootsie rolls in the microwave until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle lightly with some of the green cookie crumbs. Heat the remaining Tootsie rolls until pliable and shape as before. Spread all but one randomly over top of cake mixture. Sprinkle with any remaining cookie crumbs. Hang the remaining Tootsie roll over side of litter box and sprinkle with a few green cookie crumbs. Serve with the pooper scooper for a gross dessert.
